Selasa, 01 Desember 2020

my 20s kind of wedding

Biar ga lupa. Mungkin aja di masa depan pas mau niqa beneran beda lagi wkwk tapi apa salahnya kan ditulis mumpung masi idup 🔥

1. Seserahannya kalo bisa fukubukuro jp fashion brands (bagusan klo favq kayak am*vel, liz l*sa, ax*s f*mme, s*cr*t honey, dll) seenggaknya normal kan tergantung kurs

2. Dress as functional as possible, meski I breathe princess dreamy dress tapi aku karena mau makan banyak (since it's my feast anyway). Oh ya, mungkin enggak warna putih. Bukan karena udah ga pure lagi, tapi kan emang ga seru kalo misal kena saos. Perhaps mau ngerancang sendiri

3. Males mikir dekor soalnya mau nekanin di makanan(?), tapi kalo ada budget extra mungkin mau ala2 fantasi gitu tapi kalo ini bukan prioritas jadi terserah

4. All of my fav food, dan ngga ada yang bole ngelarang aku ikut makan uwu

5. Ini wajib sih. Playlist kudu aku yang ngatur, mungkin pake spoti*y aja. If I don't get to play my wedding playlist on my own wedding, we're ended.

6. Ini juga wajib. Boneka2ku harus ikut jadi tamu, gimanapun caranya dan harus lengkap dan ga rusak pas selesai acara 

 7. (gamau pake kerudung hehe baik di foto prewed atau di niqahan itu sendiri)

8. Kalo dream honeymoon mungkin antara pilihan2 ini:

a. Tur Russia+Nordics, lamain di Finland dan nginep di Kakslauttanen Arctic Resort, lihat northern light

b. Japan+Korea, tapi hal ini hanya bisa dinikmati kalo kedua belah pihak punya minat yang sama since destinasi turis Jp/Kor buat yang riajuu/tau pop culture pasti beda

c. Iran, dari tempatnya yang warna warni sama Persia itu negara yang sangat romantis menurutq jadi Iran it is for honeymoon place. Tempatnya juga bukan destinasi mainstream orang ke luar negeri. Sayangnya ga bisa Farsi.

d. Yemen, ini paling riskan sih. BUT ARABIAN NIGHTS! The beautiful and one and only Socotra Island! I think this is the most romantic places on earth, if the government treat the place correctly.

Poin2 ini berlaku kalo udah beneran mau nikah, tapi entah kapan siapnya since marriage is scary 🤔 gasiap idup berkeluarga dan bermasyarakat, even when I'm with my dream partner. Mungkin kalo aku baca ini 5-10 tahun lagi aku bakal ngetawain ini? Tapi itu juga kalo masi idup.

Rabu, 25 November 2020

some poets notes just because I can't wrote them again in fb notes

When I looked at myself in the mirror
I just want to punch it
Because I can see it clearly,
The reflection of someone I hate the most

When I tried to close my eyes,
All I see is all my traumas
They are haunting me all night long
Until I struggled to fall asleep

But it's harder to stay awake
I overthink a lot
I often think to die
I cry all the time
And I'm so tired to keep up with this mask

"You're okay, it's just your feeling," they said
"You're blessed," they said
"Just be positive," they said
But what do they know
That even when you thought that you're blessed
With good friends, good family, a soul sister, and and caring lover
It's not enough
Not enough to keep me stay sane
Not enough to cure this depression
Not enough to stop thinking about suicide all the time

Save me
I cried everyday
Save me
I screamed silently

But all I found is I'm all alone
With no one to save
The burdens is all by myself
I can't make anyone having a hard time because of me

And then, I lost my way
And I can't save myself too
If someone hears me
I wish you could find me a way


Save me